Love the Sinner

People seem to have moved away from the phrase (probably because it sounds bad) but there used to be a lot of talk about "love the sinner, hate the sin." As long as a sinner was welcome in the group's midst, even if they didn't approve of the sin, they would use that rationale if questioned. It's a bit like "don't ask, don't tell" when it comes to things that "sinners" don't find sinful.

The Catholic church has been saying that it doesn't have a problem with people being homosexual, just as long as they don't commit any sins. And the list of sins includes homosexual activity. So basically the Catholic church is trying to have its cake and eat it too; as long as you're not a practicing homosexual, you're allowed in church. Hell, I imagine that even if you slipped up and gave in to temptation, as long as you regarded it as a slip-up and not as finally allowing yourself to be who you are, the church will let you go to confession and then come back. It's a little like premarital sex that way, except not, because I don't know too many Catholics who allow the prohibition on premarital sex get in the way of their going to church.

So you can be gay and Catholic! Great news, guys! And they don't care, as long as you never do anything homosexual. I guess it's a step up from, "Simply being homosexual is an abomination." But not really.

Jesus didn't spend a lot of time hating people. He was all about love, and while he got rather snippy with people, his love was for all. The picture of God one gets from Jesus is that of a loving parent: sure, we may occasionally do things which cause our parents to lose their tempers and snap at us, or punish us, but they love us and they want what's best for us.

So Jesus definitely loved the sinner. Hating the sin on the other hand, was more of a Paul thing. Or an Augustine thing.

Modern Christians seem to have become overly preoccupied with what other people are doing. We hate sin in others because it's sin in others, and that's a bad thing, as if somehow, if they sin, we're responsible.  And in a way, we are; we are our brothers' (and sisters') keepers (talk about a quote that gets taken out of context).

But does anyone really stop to think about why we should "hate the sin?" Why are we responsible, and for what? I think many people hate sin because they think it makes them look bad, or that God will punish us all because some of us are sinful (well, they're usually forgetting that all of us are sinful, and also that God is forgiving), or for some reason which affects them. The sin of others affects them, and thus they hate that sin, and if they're in a particularly good mood, they don't hate the sinner.

Sin doesn't work that way. God doesn't work that way. The Lord's Prayer, which certain Christians seem to have a real problem with needing to say at inappropriate times, goes:

Our parent in heaven, we hold your name in reverence and awe as is fitting. May we be on earth as you are in Heaven. You provide for us and you forgive us as an example and a lesson in how to treat others. Don't lead us astray, but rather protect us from evil, because you are all things in all ways at all times, so you can do things like that. Amen.

Yeah, so that's not how it goes, but that's what it means.  There's a certain level of Old-Time Religion cruft layered in there: do we really need to ask God to protect us from evil and not to lead us into temptation? Or rather, would we want a parent that requires us to ask to be well-parented?  And God's kingdom on Earth has often (unpleasantly) been seen as an appeal for theocracy, although Jesus quite clearly had no political ambitions. It's tricky, I know, but Jesus was always talking about things in oblique ways: the "kingdom of Heaven" did not mean, despite claims to the contrary, a big gold city in the clouds. "Thy kingdom come... on earth as it is in Heaven."  Physical kingdoms don't arrive. Gold Sky City wasn't going to slam to earth at some point, bringing the Kingdom of God with it.

What it boils down to is that Jesus wanted us to pray that we would learn well from God's example. And he threw in some things to appeal to the parts of the human psyche that need to propitiate God.  The important parts are that God provides, protects, and forgives, and we should do likewise.

So, to return to the topic at hand, where's the part about, "Also, please don't smite us because we allowed the heathen to survive?" "Oh righteous and angry God, it was their fault not ours, please smite them and don't hurt us because we've been good and said all the magic words." God doesn't give a damn about "them." God cares about you. Jesus was pretty clear on that too.

Then why is sin a bad thing? Why are we concerned about our own sins (supposing that we are, as we should be)? If God is forgiving, why should we care if we do bad things? How can God be completely loving and forgiving and yet send people to Hell?

For a start, let's ignore the Hell part because that's a can of worms that I don't feel like opening today, and with it goes any concept that God will punish us for our sins. Yes, I'm suggesting that God doesn't punish anyone for anything (and that doesn't have to be true; forgiveness is not the same thing as freedom from punishment). Why worry about sin if we'll be forgiven? Why do we care about our own sins, if we're not supposed to care about others'?

We care for two reasons: sin hurts people, and in sinning, we divide ourselves from God. I'd argue, actually, that the second follows from the first; by injuring someone or something that God loves, we do injury to God and thus we pull away from him. It's hard not to pull away when we hurt someone or something.

Sin doesn't have to hurt others; sinners can hurt themselves. But God loves them, and thus by hurting themselves they hurt God. We don't want to hurt God, so we don't want to hurt things that God loves. Even if sin doesn't hurt the body, it hurts the soul. It takes us away from God, and God misses us. I don't pretend to understand how God loves us; I've been using the "parent" metaphor, but divine love is by nature unexpressible by something non-divine.

If I were addicted to a drug, even if it had no effect on anyone else (and it would), it would hurt me. Would it be right to say that you hate my addiction? You hate my drug use?  One might say that, but what one should mean is that one hates seeing this action or condition hurting me.

So how then can we hate sin? I think a lot of people when they say they hate sin mean that they hate it because it's sin. That hardly matters. They say they want to save people from Hell. But if you're Hell-bound, they don't feel sorry for you, they view you as an ill that must be corrected. I wonder if many so-called Christians of a certain stripe would feel just as good about a wicked person dying as being "saved/"

So "love the sinner, hate the sin," is silly.  God doesn't care if you hate the sin or not. God wants you to love everyone, and if someone you love is doing something that harms him/herself, that removes him/herself from the presence of God, you shouldn't "hate" that. You should help. And if you believe that something intrinsic to someone is the cause of this removal from God, then you're saying that God made this person so he/she could be removed from God, or you're saying that you secretly believe that it's a choice rather than an intrinsic property, in which case you're being a hypocrite.

Love the sinner. That's what Jesus did. He loved the sinner and he wanted us, sinners all, to love each other. No judgments. No exceptions. Love God and love everybody. There's no room for hate in the kingdom of Heaven.